Is this the great racial awakening? Or are we just pandering again?
Call me skeptical — Three months from now, will anything have changed? Really?
I’m from Generation X, 43-years-old to be precise. I remember growing up in ultra-liberal Boulder, CO and learning how our generation was going to bring the great racial reconciliation. We were raised on the coat tails of our parent’s human rights revolution. I remember hearing that we would grow up “colorblind” and treat all people as humans, regardless of their color. The great MLK painted us the most beautiful canvas and it was our job to complete his vision. Boy, did we ever fail, didn’t we?
Then we had another chance with our millennial nephews, cousins, and firstborns. We pretended like we were “colorblind” for them and indeed, we helped raise a generation that is just as blind as we are. Racism grew, festered, and matured. It developed new names and new ideas and more disgusting forms. Racism became a fully integrated system in our society that we could ignore and be blind to out of convenience and guilt. If it reared its head in any of the old ways, we could easily condemn that single act and then go on being blind to what was really happening.
Now our Generation Z children and grandchildren are on the cusp of a new revolution. Some of them claim to be 𝓌ℴ𝓀ℯ while others are just as blind. Are the 𝓌ℴ𝓀ℯ ones actually seeing truth, are they actually awakened to the depths of the terrible truth?
I see my Generation Z children and students feeling deeply effected emotionally and spiritually by the events of today. I’m proud that they’re impacted and not apathetic. I see many of them posting positive messages on social media and marching in peaceful protests downtown. I’m proud that they’re finding ways to take action. I have hope for this generation, but I’m worried, because I failed so badly then and I’m still failing now.
Our kids said “March with us, or you’re a racist”… and I did not march.
They said “Make your Instagram profile black today, or you’re a racist”… and I did not make my profile black.
They said “Shout ‘Black Lives Matter’ from the rooftops, or you’re a racist”… and I did not shout.
See, I have realized that I’m a racist too, and that terrifies me.
I have participated in systemic racism for my entire life. I’ve perpetuated blindness and ignorance. I’ve held beliefs contrary to the truth.
I couldn’t march, because I’m embarrassed of the beliefs I’ve held and the mistakes I’ve made in my life that are clearly a part of the racist system we live in.
I couldn’t change my instagram profile, because it felt so insincere.
I couldn’t shout “Black Lives Matter” when I know they matter, but I haven’t done a single damn thing in my life to make them matter. I would be a fraud.
I have passed hundreds of young, mostly white, impressionable minds through my hands over the years of youth ministry — and I’ve never addressed racism appropriately with any of them other than a quick quip or minor disciplinary correction when one of them strays in an embarrassing direction. I simultaneously didn’t and don’t know how to teach it, mentor it; and I haven’t wanted to acknowledge it.
I realize that I have the opportunity to fix this going forward, but I honestly don’t know how. I know it has to start with me, and I don’t even know how to do that.
I read this wonderful article today by Elyse Cizek and I found it convicting. Everything lately has been convicting, but Cizek doesn’t pull any punches — and I appreciate that so much.
I want so badly to not be racist. I need so badly to not be. It’s an unconscionable realization that I m̸a̸y̸ have been.
Black friends, you don’t owe us anything. You don’t owe us a “how to” manual or a personal story about how I’ve hurt you. You don’t owe us a way to redemption or a path forward. I want so badly though to ask you, “What do I do? What steps do I follow? How can I understand? How can I fix this?”… but I know, that you might not even know the answer to those questions either (or do you?). I mean, it’s kind of the point of my confession here, that I just don’t know.
So what do we do now, white friends? I might be wrong, but I have an idea.
In 1952, a great white Christian author by the name of C.S. Lewis wrote a book called “Mere Christianity” that I adore. In it, he has a chapter on Pride and Humility. At the end of his chapter he tries to answer the question of how a person can become humble if they so desire. He writes:
The first step in acquiring humility is to realize that you are proud. Until you realize this, nothing can be done about it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.
Let me translate: The first step in acquiring non-racism is to realize that you are racist. Until you realize this, nothing can be done about it. If you think you are not racist, you are very racist indeed.
So I wonder, maybe this is the way to begin? Maybe it’s a prayer to God that says “Hey God, I̷ ̷t̷h̷i̷n̷k̷ I’ve been racist. M̸a̸y̸b̸e̸ I am racist. You know my heart. Help me with my racism”.
As in the desperate prayer in Mark 9:24: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
White friends, pray with me today: Hey God, we’re racists. Help us with our racism.
Do not stutter, do not say “I think” or “maybe”. Do not be prideful. Do not let your participation in marches, your social media banners, or your 𝓌ℴ𝓀ℯ t-shirts alleviate your guilt enough to go back to a blind life — as I have for so many years of my life.
Let us open our eyes from this prayer together; with a mournful heart, open ears, and a contrite spirit. Let us be truly awakened.